Moral questions

I insist... strange days
This blog more than a bunch of riddles and enigmas is also a diary... the riddles are part of my life... of my soul... of my integrity

Tried to write the ode to my family last night but the words just didn't come through, I guess I just need more time to iron the whole thing together with myself.. to stop finding excuses and give myself a little bit of a break.

Growing up.. fighting and full of burdens, fears and questions.. questions that no one can solve but myself... questions of morality, of principles and of courage.

Pulling myself out of the gutter everyday.. running and hiding at once... forlorn.. forsaken. White lies, thrills, no more tears.. after 400 strokes against the wall... I've learnt how to fit in perfectly and stand on my feet.. to hide it inside and leave it unfinished... to be dealt with somewhere else... elsewhere...

Living through exciting and painful days of my youth, becoming a young adult with all my doubts and my open questions. About sex, about power, about religion, as if trascendence weren't there....

A fast life, less dignified... less thinkable.. less dreamland.. as if unhappiness weren't there in wait for us.. we coudln't care less.. living just one day... living just today... looking at life just like fun... and take whatever we can... and no more.

Without a trace of seriousness at all.. just with a dettached eye... through the vetted glass. Afraid but yet so brave! Without a past and making up for the future that hasn't come yet. Making up... that's the key word.. time and make up.

A 90 years-old soul in a young skeleton, past the experience, past the ilusion.. past itself.. waking to life. It's desperating... it's frustrating.

I'm attacked by my own moral questions.. what should I do? how should I response? Life is in my hands... it's not up to you... it really never was. Smoked fragment of thoughts... all given up.

I'm attacked by my moral questions

Can anyone at all understand?

Should I leave on and deal with my unhappiness? Should I just see this life as fun and enjoy today? But is it to enjoy? What will come later? Will I regret? Will I forget? Where are my principles? Are they really important? Are they really steady? Are they really strong? Should I then just leave? I can't figure out how I'm asking myself these questions....

Bravo! you're still young!

And they're waiting for you out there
Clinging onto feeling
Standing on a line
Standing on your life
They'll hold you
They'll hold you
Oh he likes you
Does anyone care?