Wednesday, August 31, 2005

One shall not stumble

I thoroughly live your death
Relive your death
Not the death itself
But those pangs
Of fright
That silently hunt you
Your words I remember
As I find encore in your death
Or your fear of it
Thus the city night empty
As when you took leave of it
Leaving her with her own fears
With all those faces
Well-known as of old
With their entanglements
And their wasteful warmth
As temporary as life
Wiped out by dust
In this world
For life
Were this life at all

Their bodies seem to be very old
As if carved in the stone
One and manifold times
Perhaps just thrice
The body of one man
Always the very same
From distant lands
Recreates your smells
And those clouds of filth
Set beforehand in between
As those bottles yet undrunk
And those ashes of selves
Unfinished conversations
That were never prone to start
Set away with your contempt
With my regret
Deceit
Everything that was in store
I will kill those men one day
Slaughter them on your name
They will be all the same
Names in a memorial
Or perhaps not even names
But lamentations of that life you feared
Even without knowing whether it was all
Life or not
How many names we could count
I no longer recall
Unnamed graved
Turbulent pasts
Those you precisely wanted to hide
The hindering ones
In your lips when wet
In a story, just perhaps
I wish I had different stories
I wish you would not fear
I wish I weren't to die
No longer you will fear
When memory shall wipe it all out
Even my sights
The demeaneouring ones
The object of your content
More like contempt
Product of your passions
A childish endeavour
Not such as a book
Embroidered with faith
Bleedings the signs of your mistakes
Perhaps I may better hush
As I share but the same sins
And procrastinate in my innermost fires
That zeal
Of which you became thief
You make the chains all yours
It's tied to your toe
I am part of your foes
My warfare companion
My nightly comfort
The redeeming one
That I shall never forget
Were I not to see you again
In which case
You should turn the lights on
Before setting on your journey alone
Another strange might steal my vows
My woes
My wooes
That whimsical bastard
May he lead you towards death
In purgatories of different colds
In bodies such as those of old
The faceless and imagined
Such as my thorns
I can feel you unwept tonight
Entangled
Embraced in a stranger
Yearning for those hollows
For those comedies
Whimsies of the young
That you whispered to my delight
Or perhaps even more to your own
As you are still waiting
And some forlon lover in a synagogue prays
While you sleep alone
Or perhaps with a stranger
That will not take you back home
You will find your way in the darkness
Although morning has sprung
Devoid of comfort
And no letters will have been sent
But you will remember alone
Things that resemble no words
That mean a whole world
And while he prays
In uttered mumbles
"Blessed Are Thou King of the Universe,
That has in his universe such"
You remain wet
Unwept
Actively unhappy
With that extraordinary life you yearned for
In those novels that on your behalf he wrote
With the help of his God
One shall not stumble
The Bible says
One shall not stumble
I know
But yet I take pain your youth
And we both stumble
One shall not stumble
Yet one does
Alone

(*) Jewish blessing recited aloud after having seen an outstandingly beautiful person or tree.

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