No answer

We thought an idealized world
In your living room
Somewhat dark, somewhat bright
Under the infatuation of heat
Your world failed on me
I failed myself
Devoid of repair
Succeeding everyday
Proving a point
That's how we made it
Until you tore off
Until you walked off
Until I turned in

A glass of water
2:23 am
Cigarettes
Newspapers
Old thoughts
Still proving your points
Wearing blue shirts
Worn out in Blues
Nothing to remember
Nothing to recall
Somewhere to run
Sky, that's all above

Waiting for an answer
That will never come
Foregoing the truths
Embracing the clouds
Conversations never held
A life was never lived
A dream of few hours
In glasses of wine
In films, captured
The essence of being
Potato chips and TV
Waiting for an answer
For someone to deflect
For withstanding blame

The next day didn't come
And I swallowed your promises
That I myself invented
Your faces and your stories
That life, you never told me
Forlorn this time
This youth
This mind
Absent within
You never gave it in

I wish I didn't write
I wish I just swallowed and didn't cry
But honest truth is
I still yield on better days
On the futures that I buried
On the futures that you carved
I'm just not being fair
I know
But next time
Maybe
Next summer
Perhaps
We'll talk it over

When you'll be older
When you'll be a loner
Drink coffee in the morning
And just chat about life
Proving your points for a life
Those well-constructed philosophies
The truths you never found
An ill-covered veil
Smaller your eyes
And your skin sadder

I guess I know it all by now
For I hasten no longer
I simply drink coffee
Waste my mornings
While you prove your points
While you make it
And there's always paper
A man is always patient
Even the newspaper