personal note, 3:21 pm

self-obsessions in a sealed metallic room of heaven


i woke up i simply u woke up i can't type full sentences i just can't type full sentences and words are poured full of sense i woke up to the sun this morning i did wake up to the sun this morning certainly i did now i can say i want to say nothing i can't i spoke to you so many times my phone bill surpassed the cost of my purple furniture and you didn't listen you are a girl flying on a plane flying to peru yes you are flying to peru with the old smelly stinky guy by your side you both share pills purple pills red pills yellow pills black pills brown pills blue pills orange pills ocre pills green pills rose pills creamy pills yes you share pills and u can't help it honey where r u going? i asked you many times where r u going? where r u going? don't be surprised i know your flight isn't stopping i know it isn't i know they have no answers for you because you have no voice you have nothing but your purple scarf and your pills i know they have no answers because u cut their tongues in four the plane is flying backward where did you leave your watch honey? where did you left your expensive watch? it's hot inside i know when u fly and never stop it gets hot inside but you are a liar how can u feel hot? if u have nothing but your purple scarf and your pills and invented weltschmerz and reisebegleteren, i told you where to stop but u didn't listen i did tell u where to stop but i didn't expect you to listen because you only have your purple scarf and your pills i'm feeling cold and you simply can't watch out i'm feeling cold now it's so cold down here it's so cold down here ops! it's not down here it's very high here and i can see your plane i can see where you sit i can see everything about me because i'm not here i wasn't here but still i'm feeling cold here i gave you many roadmaps with arrows and shuttles i see your plane is flying backward and u can't find the places on the map i gave your a map with a coordinate line with multiple axes and vortixes and i told u where to stop i know i did and i'm very high tonight very high and i yearn i miss your purple scarf, i was always attracted to mute women i was always attracted to women who can't cry and it's exactly your type u can't cry because u have no eyes because you have no eyes and that's why u can't find the places on the map and how can u believe me when i tell you that the scarf is purple? i just forgot that you don't even know what purple is about....... i'm sorry but i can't give your more directions, but i love you, you know i do love you and i'm still cold here waiting for you even though i'm not here, i was never here and actually we never met. i'm sorry but i can't give you more directions, the place where i am, yeah the place where i am where i told you to go this place where i am for what i gave you direction yeah the place where you are flying to endlessly is not place. it's not place but i love you.