Friday, December 31, 2010
Deadly gifts of God - מתן מוות ויהונתן
How false can a poem really be? That is the question that he asked himself at the moment of an intuitive observation, it was not only that he was a complete inept in the description of landscapes - with the sole exception of heaven; but also that the addressee of the poem had vanished from sight and had packed his tongue inside the memory of another man, who himself one day packed in a suitcase a few thousand days and set to sail through the land. Alcohol does not mix well with both anger and atonement, especially when the boat is boarded only by strangers and the waters more turbulent than the womb of the whale. Perhaps it was not even necessary to have gone that far, with one hour it should have sufficed, for the whole of eternity to break into tears and bow to the unpretentious but vigilant watch of that night, on a 15th of December, in a big city, in that far-away land, even though that from my country, all lands are far away and reachable only at the gun point of exile. Ambition however had won the day, followed by wrath, and then shipwreck, and while those sins, even the shipwreck, are not punishable by the laws of man, the fateful decree of the deity was to drown in a glass full of tears, a glass so small than not even one finger of the hand would fit in without spilling the precious liquid. What a strange punishment for a single fit of rage, he would think for himself, but he wasn't altogether surprised, whole kingdoms had been lost for much less, one single sacrifice bought at the wrong hour or a peg of wheat protruding out of a spotless altar would have been enough to bring the plague to entire cities. How was he supposed to drown inside the little glass? One had heard stories about parents asking their children to drown in a little pond in the street on the Day of the Atonement, or even worse, to choose at gun point which one of his two children should be not sacrificed but gunned down and thrown into a pit, but a little glass? What was really the science behind it all? After all he had cried for a whole night with a wounded leg in a deserted street that once had seemed beautiful and pleasurable, and yet, still it wouldn't fit into the glass. But he had been entirely mistaken all the way, on the first night, even during the first hour, when he first tasted that infinite joy from the open-edged glass, he had already choked, and that's why he saw everything in such glee, he had already crossed the threshold and condemned himself, in that sense, his salvation was ascertained but it was revoked in the moment he decided to slam in the face of his own gift of God, an earthly and mundane gift, and not because it was a gift, but because he had been self-righteous, thinking that with only one simple gift, he would be able to win the favours of that soft-spoken devil, oblivious of the fact that even at the expense of a hundred calves, the city was meant to be destroyed anyway. He has drowned already in the first hour, everything else was just a post-mortem effect, another consequence of heaven. The only lesson to be learnt is that you can't bribe the deadly gifts of God, otherwise they wouldn't be given to you in the first place. Thus, the poem was not false, even though it was not beautiful, only because the moment of the possession, had already passed.