Silence

No poetry today
Perhaps not ever again
Wasteful
Wasted
On sleeping pills
These summer days
Dreaming of that autumn
That will never come
Crying deep inside
But never shed a tear
He writes me no longer
A vacuum
An emptiness
That is most certainly physical
A clouded sight
I miss him
But who seems to care?
Not even me
Punishment
Punishment
And more punishment
A physical pain that precludes sleep
That is all what is left
No memories
No hopes in store
Nothing can change this
My prison
This city
My penalty
These people
And my silences
No sleep at night
Even with sleeping pills
Maybe they will kill me one day
Despite themselves
Despite myself
And no one will have missed out
My fault
After all
Who am I to judge?
God up in heavens
All alone
Unlike him
Alone but with himself
Riding in the train
Looking out the window
Choosing to ignore
Choosing to blind
Choosing to deflect
I remain unchanged
I remain in pain
I yearn for silence
I yield some silences
And from death
I feel close
Not such death of the body
When the soul is then bygone
A death that is human
That is kind
A death that is endless
In its very own time
And he is the murderer
His silence is
Again
It's all overemphasized
I have other troubles
Other sorrows
I can barely stand myself
Devoid of anything
No guilt for today
More sleeping pills maybe
Till this all will end
My prison
Down here
My head
My thoughts
A chain
A mistake
That's what it is
More sleeping pills
And procrastinations
Adieu